December 09, 2016

Rosemary, {almost} Three Months

Darling, dreamy, doll-baby.

Andrew and I keep saying, we didn't know we could make babies like this. Of course we love our boys. I could have eaten them both up with a spoon at this age, too. But Rosemary just looks at us with this smile that says, "I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to weave peace and love and easy-goingness all through this family." Maybe she's a hippy. And even so, one day I'm going print out this blog as a thank you note and take it to my girl in her flowing dress with flowers in her hair... and say thank you, for just being so very, very kind to us.

I was reading Charlie's three month blog earlier today, and I mentioned how I was rocking him before naps. Hmmm... naps?  I'm afraid she's so easy-going that she just kind of follows whatever the family is doing. Sometimes asleep, and sometimes awake...

She is still sleeping beside our bed and when people ask us if she's sleeping well at night, I don't know how to answer that because... Charlie. Charlie has not slept through the night once since we've brought Rosie home. He comes in our room at 3:00, or cries out from his at 2:00 or walks in ready to start the day at 4:00 (that trend lasted a solid three weeks and was the worst, worst, worst). A typical night right now is: Rosemary goes down at 10:00, Charlie comes in our room at 1:00... I cover his mouth (so he doesn't wake Rosemary) and lead him back to his room where I sleep in a twin bed with a line-backer of a two year old until 4:00... when Rosie is up ready to eat... Charlie comes in our room at 5:00 and LET'S GO. COFEE TIME. It's a season, it's a season, it's a season....

Did I mention that Rosie is a dream?

Charlie loves his baby sister. We've found him in front of her swing singing to her... and she's the first thing he wants to see when he wakes up from his nap (blessed, glorious nap!). Wilson is so very sweet with her, too. They are both all up in her face all the time and she LOVES it. She gives them the best grins and kicks and coos... and my heart is swelling with the hope of two big brothers lavishing love and protection over their baby sister for all her days. Step on back, future suitors!

She has rolls on rolls on rolls and I'm just so happy about a chubby baby, because both boys had dropped below average weight at this age. Rosemary weighs more than 86% of her peers and we are so okay with that. It's the by-product of her nursing so well, and because I know the woes of babies and weight-gain, I could really cry out of thankfulness about it.

She has little stork bites everywhere, and the most prominent one is on her left eye lid. It looks like she's wearing pink eyeshadow and I'll be sad when it fades...

We have had a packed three months! Rosemary was born and we were hurled headlong into holidays and travel. 

We had Andrew's parents here with us, and then that whole side of the family came to celebrate and meet Rosemary. We laughed and ate good food and took our annual fuzzy hat picture. 


Allie and Kody came somewhere in there and loved on us. And I guess I didn't take any pics! Newborn haze is real... did any of this actually happen? I wouldn't believe it without pictures to prove me wrong.

My mom came to celebrate Thanksgiving... it was simple and sweet. 


Andrew's parents came back to spend Christmas with us. 


Then my parents, sister and EJ came to open gifts and play and give hugs and kisses.

We took our first big trip with three to Atlanta/Auburn for a week. And just like I suspected... Rosemary made the trip with barely a peep. Who is this child??


And then we made our first trip to Kentucky for Rosemary to meet some of her great-grandparents. She also attended her first show... at the Ryman, no less... and was (no surprise) the best third-wheel we could ask for. 


Rosemary, on January 21 our phone alarms went off at 3:00 am alerting us of a tornado warning. We woke up your brothers and stuffed ourselves inside of the bottom of our linen closet. Your father hovered over the news in the living room while I held you in my lap and had a brother under each of my arms, like a (terrified) mother hen. The weatherman told us the tornado was barreling towards us. At one point, the audio went out in the news studio and they began to hold up paper signs to warn us where it was heading next... you sucked your paci and curled up into me. Charlie laid his head on your legs in my lap. Wilson asked me, "What's going to happen if the tornado hits our house?" And I hated that I couldn't tell him "It won't, we will be fine." So I stammered through--"We just hold onto eachother. Tight." I had such a helpless feeling, Rose... What if the winds tried to rip you from my arms? How could I hold onto all three of you at the same time? My faith was like an atom of a mustard seed. I pled out loud to Jesus to keep us all anchored- our feets anchored to the ground, our hearts anchored to Him, our arms anchored around each other. 

As providence would have it, the tornado missed our house by half a mile. And as reports came in to tell us of our town being shredded, wounded, lives taken... my eyes wouldn't leave your little faces. And I was reminded of my finiteness... how there is a limit to my protection over you. I cannot promise you safety this side of heaven, Rosemary. My heart fights against that, but it's true... 

We try to find safety in policies, in diets, in bank accounts. We look for it in the right school systems and neighborhoods and even in our own families. We think it must be in vacations or full nights of sleep or maybe the right wardrobe. We build up walls around ourselves so that people not like us can't threaten our comfort. I tried to find it in that linen closet... 

Our fear tells us what to run from, but it doesn't tell us what to run towards. So I'll tell you a secret, Rosemary, that so many don't believe. You cannot find safety here. Our King Jesus is the only safe place... and that's because He lives outside of time and space. And yet... He entered into time and space to be our safety, our sure hope. 

But life in Him means He will call you to live a life reflective of His Kingdom... and that's not always safe.

You will be asked to love people not like you.

He will ask you to lay down things that are precious to you to follow Him.

You will need to seek the good of others before you seek it for yourself. 

And that is not always safe... and it is definitely never comfortable. But it's the way to know for sure that you have anchored your life down in the only One who is truly safe. 

Don't anchor your heart here, baby girl... Your father and I will do all that we can to help you throw your anchor towards heaven. We love you!

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